Anti-Jokes – My favourite
I am a fan of anti-jokes. What is an anti-joke or anti-humor you may ask? Wikipedia as usual gives a great definition “a joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value.”
One variant of anti-humor is to use a common recipe for a joke e.g. a ‘knock-knock’ or a ‘man walks into a bar’ script, and then deliver the anticlimax which is funny in it’s own right.
Here are a couple of examples of knock-knock anti-jokes:
A: Knock knock
B: Who’s there?
A: The police
B: The police who?
A: Ma’am, I’m afraid there’s been a serious road traffic accident; your partner is in intensive care.
John: knock knock
Nana: Who’s there?
Nana: John whooo?
John begins to cry as he realizes his Nana’s Alzheimers has progressed to such a severity that she can no longer remember who he is.
There are a lot of “into a bar” jokes, here are some of my favourite:
A man walks into a bar; his crippling alcoholism is ruining his family.
A priest, an imam, and a rabbi walk into a bar. what a fine representation of religious tolerance.
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks why the long face? The horse then neighs and looks nervous, because it’s an unusual setting for a horse to be in. He knocks over a few tables but manages to find his way back outside.
Another variation of anti-humor is to start the joke in a form of a question. A normal joke in this category would usually have a punch-line that is a pun e.g. ‘Why did the arrows shake?
Because they were all in a quiver’. An anti-joke would deliver an anti-climactic obvious answer.
Here are some examples:
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?”
Why was six afraid of seven?
Actually, numbers are abstract concepts, and therefore incapable of feeling fear
Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes?
He uses the finest ingredients.
Not a pun joke, but a take-on a usual racist joke
What do you call an Arab flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist!
Here’s one way of setting up an obvious answer only to deliver an absurd punch-line.
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Some people shrivel when they hear dark humour. I happen to enjoy it. Here are a couple of anti-jokes dark style:
What did the deaf and blind kid get for Christmas?
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks why the long face. Horse says “My son was just diagnosed with cancer.”
Finally to wrap it up. Here is a couple of long anti-humor jokes that I wanted to place separately:
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.
A: Knock Knock
B: Who’s there?
B: John who?
A: John Dulaney from down the street? I’ve lost my cat, Rutherford. Have you seen him? He’s about 7 pounds, half manx, spotted tabby. Here’s a flyer with my number on it in case you see him. Really, please call me. He means a lot to me. I’ve had him for almost a decade, and he was a gift from my father. My father died last month, so this has been a pretty tough time, and I don’t know if I can take not having Rutherfordright now. I don’t have a reward figured out yet, but we can figure something out. Please be on the lookout for him. If you put out some food he might come to your door or something. Well, I better get to some other houses, talk to you later. Wanders off and starts telling somebody else (preferably a stranger) the joke.